For The Nights We Can't Remember
by TrueBlue21
Summary: Ten years.  Hundreds of women.  Lonely.  Endless Disconnect.  Only one face he sees.  Jax and Tara before she leaves.  Jax in Charming, alone.  How their lives brought them together, tore them apart, and brought them back together again.
1. Chapter 1

**Woah, it's been awhile. It has been a ridiculously long time since I posted something on here. School, work and life so got the better of me. But I have missed this place dearly, and this story just has been nagging me for awhile now and I had to do it. **

**This is my first SONS fic, and I'm a little nervous because this show is just so amazing and to even try to write my own story with the fantastic characters that are this show is going to be a huge challenge! Kurt Sutter really is the only person who can write them and convey them in such a wonderful way.**

**Season 4 has been just an absolute mind fuck. Seriously, every week this show just throws me off a cliff. But it has been so damn worth it. Best season of the show, by far! I can't believe how quick it goes. Next week, we're done. For like, a freaking year! UGH! This story is probably the only thing that will help me get through the hiatus.**

**I know there are quite a few stories that deal with teenage Jax and Tara, but I don't care. I wanted to write them! Mine will be different though, as I'm also going to include the time when Jax and Tara were apart for ten years, probably ending around when Tara actually returns. So, pretty much everything that happened before the show started.**

**Disclaimer: NOTHING is Mine. As much as I wish Charlie was mine, sadly he is not. Nor is Jackson Teller, or Opie Winston, or any of the wonderful men of SAMCRO.**

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><p><em>12 August 1997<em>

_Charming, California. A small, quaint town about twenty miles east of Stockton, the closest major city to the old and rural town. The majority of people that live in Charming are native, born in the town and most never leave. It's almost like a cage, and the people are it's animals._

_Jax Teller doesn't really understand this concept, as he has never really seen a life outside of Charming. Ever since he was a boy, he's seen himself as a member of Charming's motorcycle club, Sons of Anarchy. He even sees himself becoming president, accepting the gavel from his step-father and following his father's footsteps, co-founder and president, before he died, of the club._

_This is his life. Charming is his future._

_But as he sat on his bike, cigarette between his fingers, and watched from afar two people packing up a van with boxes, he realized that his future was turning upside down. He leaned on his handles, taking a long drag. His eyes never wavered from the young women, her dark brown hair tied messily up, as she packed the remaining box into the trunk._

_Jax watched as she spoke to the older women, his heart doing something funny when he saw her smile. Even though he was about half a mile away from her, he could see her smile. It was sad, but hopeful. It was nervous but excited._

_She had a lot of smiles, and he knew every one of them. Even though he loved seeing her smile, his hate for her grew in that moment. Because even though she was sad, she was also excited. Excited to leave Charming. Excited to leave her life of 19 years. Excited to leave him._

_She turned to the door, and Jax just then noticed someone standing in the doorway, watching them as he did. The girl gave him a weak wave, and the older man stood there, no motion. It took everything in him not to go over there and beat the shit out of the man, one of the reasons why she was leaving._

_He took another long drag, staring as the older women walked around the car and climbed into the drivers seat. The younger one patted her knees and a golden retriever came running into view and jumped into the backseat._

_He knew where they would be going, so there was no need for him to hide out as the car pulled out of the driveway and started down the street perpendicular to the one he was on. And just like that, she was gone._

_So was his soul._

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><p><em>6 October 1994<em>

Tara Knowles woke up with a start, as she always did when her loud and obnoxious alarm blasted in her ear. She groaned as she read the clock, 7:00. She slammed the snooze button, maybe a little too hard, and threw her comforter back over her head. _Five more minutes_, she told herself.

She could feel herself drifting back to sleep, the darkness and warmth coaxing her into a blissful slumber. She would dream of beaches, and to her much welcome pleasure, Tom Cruise. A small smile formed on her lips as her mind went to dirty thoughts.

Her eyes flashed open when she felt a large object land on her body. She peeked out from under the cover, glaring at her golden retriever as he expectantly looked at her, waiting for his morning feeding. "Dodger, can't you go find a squirrel or something?"

His response? A loud bark right in her face. Tara laughed, "fine. You win." She shoved him off her bed, getting up herself and walking out into the hallway that leads to the family room. The TV is still on, and about ten cans of Bud Light litter the coffee table and floor. _Someone partied hard last night._

She turned her back to the sight and walked into the kitchen, grabbing the dog's bowls from the ground. She gave Dodger his food and water, before pouring herself a bowl of cereal. She heard a loud thump come from the end of the hall, followed by heavy footsteps coming her way.

Her father, Robert Knowles, came stumbling into the kitchen. He looked like shit, Tara noticed, but to her, he always looked like shit. His old white tee stained with beer and liquor, and his pants have about five holes in them. Tara fixed her eyes on her cereal, hoping her father would be too hungover to notice her.

No such luck. "Where the hell is the milk?" his deep, scratchy voice demanded, slamming the fridge door with too much force.

Tara rolled her eyes, picking up the carton that sat next to her. "It's right here." _Dumbass_.

Robert padded over, huffing as he grabbed it from her hands, plopping down at the table. Tara watched in disgust as he drank straight from the carton, the white liquid dribbling on his scruffy chin and staining his shirt even more. _#1 On To-Do List for today? Buy new milk._ Tara shot up from the table, putting her bowl in the sink, and then let Dodger outside.

She made her way back to her bedroom, where she took a shower and started getting ready for school. Tara dressed in her usual jeans and tank top, letting her dark brown hair cascade down her fair shoulders. She packed her schoolbag and headed for the door.

As she walked past the family room, Robert had started his day with a Bud in his hand, watching some cop show. Tara shook her head, glancing at the picture of her and her mother that resided on the shelf next to the door. Her heart sank a little, knowing just how much her absence caused her father to be, well...him. She walked out the door, Dodger already sitting on the front porch, waiting for her. She patted his head, "bye boy," and walked down the driveway, to her grey '92 Dakota.

Tara had spent three years working her ass off at the town diner, busting tables and staying overtime to raise enough money so she could drive to school her junior year of high school. When her dad saw the truck, he offered a trade for her new car for his Cutlass. Yeah, right. Tara knew that thing didn't have too many years left of actually working. No way in hell was she giving up her hard earned money to her drunk ass father, who would most likely crash it the second he sets his fat ass in it.

Tara drove to school, going through her head the notes she had memorized for history. Charming High School was probably the only place in the world that made Tara feel...home. She loved going to school, being able to get out of the house and away from her father for 7 hours out of the day. She did well in school, as well. The teachers praised her, she has quite a few friends, and people genuinely like her. She feels safe here.

She pulled into her usual spot, which she had practically claimed the first day of school, and noticed she still had about five minutes before the warning bell rang. She grabbed her bag and climbed out of her truck, spotting her friends just a few cars down.

"Hey Tara," Marcy greeted her friend. "I tried calling you last night, where were you?"

"I had to work the late shift at the diner," she answered, adjusting her bag on her shoulders. "And Good ole Pop was probably out cold on the tile."

Marcy nodded, knowing fully well that Mr. Knowles isn't exactly up for Father-of-the-Year. "Were you able to get off work tonight?"

Before Tara could answer, an arm slipped around her shoulders. She turned to see David Hale standing next to her, his doofy smile plastered on his face. "Hey Tara."

Tara smiled up at him, "hi David."

"You coming to my party tonight?" he asked, bringing her closer to his body so they were touching.

"Well that depends," she flirted, playing with the button on his letterman jacket. David is the QB for the football team, and he wears his jacket everyday. Tara can smell that it hasn't been washed in awhile, and wrinkled her nose.

"Yeah, on what?" he whispered in her hear.

"You removing the headlock you have on me," she replied, her voice turning steel and pushing him off of her. Hale has been crushing on her for years, and has made every effort in the book to make Tara his. Her friends can't believe she isn't interested in him, telling her that he's sweet, loyal, charming, and a total cutie, Tara just responds, "I already have a golden retriever, thank you."

Marcy shot her a glare, noticing the bitchy side of Tara coming out. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it can be lethal. "So, David," Marcy started, trying to break the tension, "what time should we head over to your house?"

Hale, a little taken aback by Tara, smiled brightly, "probably around ten. The party should be in full mode by then." He turned his attention back to Tara, "are you coming?"

She feigned dejection, "oh wow, sorry guys. I wasn't able to get Ben to cover for me tonight, so I'm working till close."

Everyone seemed to be buy Tara's fake sadness about not being able to come to the party, but Marcy knew Tara probably hadn't even asked for the time off. She's right. Tara has been to all the parties in the world, and she knows she won't be missing much. Everyone gets drunk, makes-out with each other, then passes out. Sounds real fun.

The warning bell rang, signaling the students to start heading to class. Tara said her goodbye's to her friends, as she and Marcy made their way to History. Marcy started going over some of the notes for their test, but her words were drowned out by the commotion and chatter of their fellow students, along with the roar of motorcycles speeding into the parking lot.

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><p>Tara packed her bag with her books, making her way out of school and heading home. She hoped that she wouldn't run into Marcy, she wasn't up for another earful of 'David is like the perfect guy, and he is so into you, you should totally blow off work and come to his party tonight.' that she got at lunch.<p>

Marcy and Tara have been friends for a long time, but they don't really consider themselves close. She likes Marcy, but they don't share secrets, or ever really have meaningful conversations. Really, they've always just been party-buddies. As they got older, and Tara and Marcy started getting into drinking and partying with the jocks of the school, they became closer, but that was pretty much the extent of their relationship.

Tara reached her truck, threw her bag into the passenger seat and climbed in. She had just started it when she heard a knock on her window. She turned to see Donna Lerner waving at her, barely reaching the bottom of the window. Tara rolled down the window, "hey."

"Hey Tara, sorry if I'm keeping you, but I have a huge favor to ask. Could I borrow your math notes from today, I totally flaked on class and am so behind in that class already, would you mind letting me use your notes?"

It took Tara a few seconds to wonder why Donna would want _her _notes, but she remembered that the dainty and pretty girl was actually indeed in her math class. "Oh, yeah sure, absolutely." She reached over and rifled through her bag, pulling out her notes and handing them to Donna.

She breathed a sigh of relief, "thank you so much, Tara. I'll have these back to you by tomorrow's class. Thanks again!"

"Sure thing," Tara replied, watching Donna scurry off to join her boyfriend, Opie Winston, who sat on his bike surrounded by his friends.

She spotted David Hale making his way over to her, and acting as if she hadn't seen him waving at her, she pulled out of the parking spot and booked it back to her house. Tara isn't usually so mean, but she just feels so trapped that she lashes out on people who really don't deserve it.

_Speaking of trapped_, Tara thought as she pulled into her driveway. Dodger sprang up from the porch, running down to greet her. Tara noticed the Cutlass missing, and let out a sigh of relief that her father isn't home.

"Hey boy," she rubbed Dodger on the head, "what are you doing?" She walked inside, the dog close on her heels, dropped her bag on the chair and made her way into the kitchen. "You hungry, boy?" She grabbed a box of crackers and a jar of peanut butter, sitting down at the table, Dodger resting his head on her leg, eyes bulging at the peanut butter.

Tara sat there for a while, eating her snack with Dodger, enjoying the peace and quiet. She relished these moments at home, when it was just her and she didn't have to hide out in her room, door locked, just praying that her father wouldn't make her the object of his drunken stupor.

Robert had lost all sense of reality and responsibility when Diane Knowles passed away, when she couldn't fight the cancer any longer. Diane had made Robert promise that he would love and protect Tara, and he would do everything he could to make Tara a happy, beautiful, and smart women. Robert couldn't keep the promise to love and protect her, and Tara grew up on her own, no help from her father. Tara couldn't hate her him, knowing just how much he loved her mother and how her death had torn him up inside and out. There is resentment though, in how he deals with her death, and how he takes his anger out on Tara and that every time he looks at his daughter, he sees his dead wife, and it makes him wash away the pain and loneliness with a bottle of whiskey.

She wasn't sure exactly when she stopped mourning her mother, when she stopped loving her father, or when she decided that she was going to get out of Charming and make something of herself. Tara has grown thick skin over the past couple of years, never really getting too close to anyone, because she knows she's just going to leave them come graduation. That's why she won't really let Marcy in, or give David a chance. Tara knows that if she lets her walls down and she starts trusting people, she might make the mistake of loving them, and she doesn't want anything getting in her way of leaving.

Tara spent the rest of the afternoon doing homework and cleaning the dishes, before dressing in her khaki shorts and black tee with her name-tag attached and heading for work. She let Dodger back outside, knowing he would be safe away from her father, who has taken his anger out on her dog a couple times in the past. Tara learned that as long as Dodger is outside when her father is home, he's safe, seeing as how he's not going to exert any effort in getting off the couch.

Tara drove into town, where the diner she works at, Lazy Daisy's, resides on the main strip. She likes it there, the customers more older and less roudy and demanding than the average young adults and teenagers. Tara found this as an excuse to get away from her father, but when she turned 15, she _wanted _to work here to raise enough money to get out of Charming. Mrs. Daisy, the sweet elderly owner of the diner, knows how much Tara wants out, and gives her more hours than the other employee's. The whole three other people that work there, including Ernie, the cook.

She walked into the diner, noticing the evening rush. Charming has more older people than younger, so the busiest times of the day are at 7 in the morning and 6 at night. Tara usually doesn't like working these shifts, since they tend to go by too fast for her sake, but tonight she had requested work. Not to make the night pass by fast, rather to have an excuse to not go to the party tonight.

"Evening sweetheart," Daisy greeted, walking out from the back. Tara joined her behind the counter, tying her apron around her waist. "I'm heading out early tonight, you gonna be okay to close?"

"Absolutely," Tara nodded. "Hot date tonight?" she teased the older women, who had treated her more like a parent these past three years than her own father in the past ten.

Daisy smirked, "maybe. It's been too long since Mr. Daisy has taken this for a ride, if you know what I mean."

Tara frowned, "eww."

Laughter erupted from behind them, as Ernie stuck his head out of the kitchen window. "Better be careful Tara, ask her too many questions and she'll give you the full detail on what went down on that ride."

"Eww," Tara repeated, shaking the images from her head.

Mrs. Daisy laughed, "goodbye children."

Tara turned to Ernie, "is it just you and me tonight?"

He nodded, "yeah, but I don't think it will be too bad. The game's tonight and by the time it's over, the older customers will be too wiped to get dinner and all the kids will probably be consuming various other nutrients than our delicious food." Tara smiled, knowing what he meant. "Speaking of, why did you request to work tonight? Thought you would want to be with your friends?"

She shrugged, knowing Ernie would ask her this question. "I guess I forgot there was a game tonight."

Ernie accepted her answer, but knew she wasn't being honest. Ernie has been working here since he was in high school, and as sweet and happy as he is, he's the perfect example as to what she is trying to avoid becoming.

He disappeared, returning to his stove, and Tara turned her attention to the elderly couple walking through the door. Plastering a smile on her face, she greeted them with enthusiastic energy and guided them to their table.

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><p>The clock read 11:12, and Tara stifled a yawn with the back of her hand. About 45 more minutes till close, and Tara was ready to leave, she longed for her bed. Even with the big game, the diner had been pretty busy, overwhelming both her and Ernie at times. Now, though, it's completely dead. Tara likes these times, with just a few lagging customers, as it gave time for her and Ernie to relax from the hectic night.<p>

Marcy had called around an hour ago, telling Tara how much fun she's missing and she should drop by once she's done flipping shakes and blending fries. Tara could practically smell the alcohol through the phone.

She pulled out the receipts from the day, counting the total amounts and making sure the money in the cashier corresponds to the white papers. Tara was so immersed in the numbers and counting that she didn't even hear the loud rumble of a Harley speeding down the street, or even register it parking in front of the diner.

It was Ernie who broke her out of her daze, "heads up, could be trouble."

Tara looked at him questionably, turning to the door when the bell chimed, indicating someone entering the diner. Now Tara understood what Ernie had meant, because strolling into the Diner is Jax Teller, wearing his baggy jeans, black tee with the word SAMCRO written in frayed white, and over his shirt, a leather kutte, with the big large words Sons Of Anarchy stitched on the back.

Tara shifted her feet, glancing at Ernie, nodding to him, letting him know she'll be okay. Jax and her have gone to school since they were kids, but they've had less interaction than her and Donna, meaning about none.

He plopped down at the counter, running a hand over his face. This drew Tara to his eyes, and she noticed a rather dark blue patch surrounding his right eye. She had seen Jax with multiple scars and bruises, so this really didn't come as a shock to her. Everyone in Charming knows Jax Teller gets into trouble on a daily basis.

She walked over to him, handing him a menu. "Besides an ice pack, can I get you anything?"

He looked at her, his bright blue eyes staring into her. Tara usually doesn't base a guy on his looks, but she had to hand it to Jax, with his messy blonde hair and piercing blues, the small stubble on his chin, and his overall build, she could see why so many girls fall to their hands and knees when he's around.

His mouth quirked, "is it that bad?"

Tara shrugged, "put a little concealer on it, should blend right in." He laughed, "really, we have a pack in the freezer, I can get it if you want."

He shook his head, "don't worry about it. I can't even feel it."

She nodded, "you want something to drink?"

"Any chance you'd give me a Miller?" he asked, giving her a charming smile.

Tara rolled her eyes, "yeah, because I was actually just tying to think of an excuse to get fired and possibly end up in jail. Thank god you came along."

Jax nodded, smiling. Tara liked seeing him smile. He always seems so reserved and distant at school, she can't remember when she saw him smile. "I'll just have some water, and can I get some fries, too?"

"Sure thing," she walked over to the kitchen window, "an order of fries, Ernie." She grabbed a glass and the pitcher of water from the fridge and poured Jax his glass of water, placing it in front of him. "So, let me guess. You crashed David Hale's party tonight, he was furious, started threatening that he would call Daddy Hale and his deputies to come and arrest you, and you made some joke about knowing where those deputies like to put their sticks, he took a swipe at you, and you probably beat the shit out of him."

Jax's eyebrows raised, surprised by her bluntness, a slow smile forming on his lips. "Actually, I told him that his Daddy and deputies probably had much more pressing matters to attend to, like sucking each other's dicks."

Tara laughed, "oh, yeah, wow, that will really make you have more friends." A ding rang through the diner, and Tara turned to the window, grabbing the plate of fries Ernie had fried up. She placed them in front of Jax, "so, how bad did you hurt him?"

He shrugged, "didn't get a chance to stick around, Opie dragged me out of there before I could appreciate my handiwork." He popped a fry into his mouth, "wait, isn't Hale your boyfriend?"

"No," Tara answered quickly, shaking her head vigorously, "god, not even close."

Jax nodded, watching her closely. "Oh, I thought I heard something about you two or something."

She rolled her eyes, "he likes to think so, but Hale is just too much of a," she tried to think of a good enough word to describe him, "well, a noob." Jax busted out in laughter, causing Tara to laugh as well, "he is!"

Jax met her brown eyes, "I guess I never thought of Hale like that before."

Tara shrugged, "once he's hit on you so many times you think of a lot of fitting names for him."

Jax laughed again, and Tara made a note in her head that if she ever had a moment with Jax Teller again, she would make an effort to hear his laugh. He glanced up at the clock, "shit," he muttered under his breath, and taking the last fry off his plate stood up from the counter. "Thanks for the late night snack," he said, leaving down a ten, "keep the change."

She grabbed the plate and the money, "thanks."

Before turning to leave, he patted the countertop and leaned in close to her, "have a good night, Tara."

She gave him a faint smile, but it was too late as he had already turned and headed for the door. She let out a long breath, watching as he strode outside, confidence and swag oozing off of him. He buckled his helmet on his head and started his bike, backing up and pulling away, and Tara listened to the loud roar of his bike until she couldn't hear it anymore.

Tara had to brace herself on the counter before she fell onto her hands and knees. _Woah_, she thought.

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><p><strong>Well, there's chapter 1. Hope you guys liked it. Just a few things:<strong>

**- I was really disappointed by the lack of Donna/Tara relationship in the show, because I always hoped that they kinda kept one another sane while they dated the two outlaws in high school. So, yes, in my story they will have a friendship.**

**-While I tried to get everything that we know from the show right, I did make up some of my own background. Like Tara's mother dying of cancer, her having a dog, and working at a diner.**

**-Last, I am in no way Kurt Sutter. I cannot even come close to portraying his characters. But I am going to try to do the best I can. If them seem off or OOC, let me know! I will try to adjust and make them more real!**

**Thanks guys! Review if you want, I would really appreciate it!**


	2. Chapter 2

_7 October 1994_

Tara drummed her fingers along the countertop, her chin resting in the palm of her hand. She glanced around the empty diner, wondering where everyone is. Usually weekends are overly crowded, but today has been exceptionally slow.

"Seriously, just shoot me now," a voice said, coming out from the kitchen. Kelly collapsed across the counter, "good lord, it's a ghost town in here."

Tara shook her head, "probably because of the game last night. Everyone's probably too tired to even get out of bed."

Kelly lifted her head, "well I don't care! Don't these people realize that I need the money! How am I ever going to get to UC if no one buys our food?"

Kelly Tippen has been working at the diner for about four years now, but she graduated a year ago. Her financial situation has kept her from going to school, UC in particular, but she hopes she'll have saved enough money to go by next summer. UC offered her a scholarship for $6,000, but she needs to raise another three thousand in order to be considered a full time student. She's saved up about 2500, and is working on the rest this year.

Tara and Kelly get along well, both sharing a lot in common. Kelly has a broken family as well, with her mom a junkie and her dad in prison. Since she was eight, she's been growing up alone, doing everything for herself. And just like Tara, Kelly has every intention of getting out of Charming and making her life something more.

"It'll probably pick up tomorrow, especially in the afternoon once Church is out," Ernie offered from the small window, looking equally as bored as the two girls do. "Lucky Tara gets off in ten minutes."

Kelly glared at her, "I hate you." Tara laughed, but it died quickly when she saw who came walking up the small steps into the diner. "Oh thank god, someone saving me from insanity."

Donna Lerner entered the diner, her small frame looking a bit disheveled as she looked around the room, almost as if she's looking for someone. When her eyes landed on Tara, she beamed and walked over to her, "hey!"

Kelly looked questionably between the two. She knows who Donna is, just as she knows exactly who Tara is. Kelly would have sworn her life that she would never see these two making small talk.

Tara fumbled her words for a second, from surprise and shock that Donna had initiated conversation twice in 24 hours, before responding, "hey. Uhm, can I get you something?"

"Oh, no thanks," Donna shook her head, "I'm actually here for you. So, I looked at your notes this morning, and I'm so completely lost. I thought I would be able to catch up, but I have no idea what anything means." She paused, her brows furrowing, "would you possibly consider helping me out?"

"What do you mean?" Tara asked, confused.

"I need to pass the next test, if I don't there's no way I'm passing the class. But I'm not going to be able to get higher than a 5% if I don't get help. And I was maybe hoping you would tutor me."

Now Tara understood. "Oh, wow, I don't know, Donna."

The smaller brunette nodded, "I know it's a lot to ask for, and don't feel pressured to do it. But I could really use your help."

Tara frowned, completely taken off guard. She glanced at Kelly, almost seeking advice or help from her, but Kelly just shrugged seemingjust as dumbfounded as Tara. She looked back at Donna, who's eyes are pleading and desperate. Math came pretty easy to Tara, and never really had to spend much time studying or learning it, but she knows that most of her fellow classmates are struggling and Mr. Benson isn't the most sensitive teacher. But does Tara really want to spend her free time, between work and school, helping Donna pass math because she's been too busy skipping class to spend time with her boyfriend? Does she really want to make another commitment that will most likely have her away from home even more?

"Sure, I'll help you out," Tara finally answered, giving Donna an assuring smile. Which caused the girl to beam brightly in response.

"Thank you so much, Tara! You have no idea how much I appreciate this!"

Tara smiled, "sure, it's no problem. So, when do you want to meet?"

Donna pondered this question, "well, I'm free for the rest of the afternoon. What time do you get off work?"

Tara looked at the clock, and let out a chuckle, "uh, now. We can go to the library if you want?"

Donna nodded, "that's perfect! I just need to drop off Opie's car, could you maybe drive to Teller-Morrow and give me a lift?"

"Yeah, sure no problem."

Donna gave her one last smile, "thank you so much again, Tara." She skipped off to the door, "I'll see you in a few!"

Tara watched Donna walk out of the diner, resisting the urge to call her back and take back her offer. She sighed, and turned to Kelly, who looked at her like she just grew a tail on her head. "What?"

"Since when did you and Donna Lerner become so buddy-buddy?"

Tara shrugged, "we're not. She needs help, and I'm not struggling in math so why not give her a hand?"

"It's just, it's Donna Lerner." Tara gave her a questioning look, "she's not really known as the girl you want to spend extra time with. She's bad company, Tara. Remember when you guys were freshmen, and Donna helped Opie and Jax blow up the freaking vending machine? They got suspended for that!"

Tara rolled her eyes, "it was a prank."

"A prank that injured a janitor when she was trying to restock it!." She shook her head, "she's just bad news, you know?"

Tara did know. Donna has been dating Opie Winston for about two years now, and Opie has been best friends with Jax Teller since, well, birth. Both Opie and Jax are associated with the motorcycle club, Sons of Anarchy, that reside in the town. Jax's step-father is president of it. Tara doesn't know a lot about the club, but she assumes that Jax and Opie are in it since they wear the leather kuttes that the other members do.

Donna doesn't have any friends outside Jax and Opie, having sort of alienated herself when her and Opie first got together. There was a time when Donna was fairly liked and people wanted to hang out with her. Now, however, when people see her coming, they tend to keep their heads down, knowing fully well that if they make one wrong move, Opie could be on them in a second.

Tara shook her head, "I'm just tutoring her. Nothing else."

Kelly studied her for a few seconds, before nodding. "I'll see you monday," she said, before walking back into the kitchen. Tara sighed, feeling like Kelly may be a little disappointed with her. She shook her head, not having any idea how in just five minutes, her life seemed to have titled completely off it's axis.

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><p>Tara turned into the Teller-Morrow Auto-Shop, noticing how many people there seemed to be at a small town mechanic garage. She saw a line of bikes parked along the side of the fence, realizing this must be some sort of meeting place for the club. A feeling creeped into Tara, one telling her to get the hell out why she still can. She parked on the other side of the fence, next to two other cars, she recognized the one Donna had driven to the diner.<p>

She climbed out of her truck, and walked to the back of her bed, awkwardly sitting down on her bumper. She looked around the garage, noticing what looked like an office connected to the actual garage, and another building she couldn't quite place its use for. People walked around aimlessly, some wearing leather kuttes, and others wearing actual mechanic uniforms. But the one thing that stood out the most, was all the women that seemed to be here. She had a feeling that their cars probably didn't need a tune up.

The women just seemed to be standing around, in rather revealing clothes Tara also noted. Their chests protruded out of their tiny shirts, and their skirts barely covered their asses. Tara wondered if these women could even feel their feet because of the ridiculous high heels they all are wearing. Tara can barely go five minutes in heels sitting down, no way these women aren't in pain from just standing there for god knows how long.

The door to the building across from her, the one she didn't no it's purpose, opened and Donna walked out, Opie following behind her. Donna noticed Tara and waved at her, her boyfriend giving Tara a once over. Tara meekly waved her hand, looking away quickly. She peeked at them when she thought they both had turned away from her, and this was the first time she really ever saw them alone together, Jax or other people usually always being with them.

Opie towers over her, and not just because Donna is small in general, but because Opie is just huge. Tara has heard people throw out a nickname, the Mountain man, but she's pretty sure if Opie ever heard someone call him that, he would do serious damage to their face. Besides their height, Tara finally thought how different they really are. She's known them since first grade, and she knows how reserved and quite Opie is, only really coming out of his shell when he's with his friends. Donna, on the other hand, is bright and talkative, sometimes acting as if she loves the attention on her. Yet, somehow they seem to fit.

The door opened again, and Tara cursed under her breath. Out walked Jax Teller, a red-head with big dough eyes and legs that go for forever under his arm. They stopped to talk to Opie and Donna, and Tara could not remember one time in her life she felt more out of place than she did right now. She adverted her gaze to the ground, hoping Donna would get her ass over here so she can get the hell out of this place.

She looked up when she heard footsteps coming her way, and returned the smile Donna gave her. Jeez, Tara hopes she doesn't have to smile all the time when she's around. "Hey, ready to go?" Tara asked.

Donna nodded, "yep!" She walked over to the passenger seat, and Tara, not even thinking, glanced one more time over at the three Donna had just left. Opie and the red-head seemed to be having a conversation, but her eyes met the messy blonde head that she had just conversed with last night. Tara could feel her face flush quickly when she realized Jax is not only looking at her but when she met his eyes his lips quirked upward. Adverting her gaze quickly, she joined Donna in the truck.

Tara knew this was a bad idea.

* * *

><p>"So, you can either use factoring or the quadratic formula, but sometimes the equations aren't factorable, and you have to use the formula," Tara instructed, seeing the lines above Donna's forehead. They had been here for about an hour already, and Tara had to check herself a few times from getting too impatient with Donna. Tara has made a mental note that teaching would not be in her future.<p>

Donna started on a new problem, frequently asking questions, especially when she had to break down the square roots. She dropped the pencil, "is that right?"

Tara did the problem herself, rather quickly, and looked at Donna's answer. She smiled brightly, "that's it! Good job!"

Donna sat back in her chair, sighing heavily. "Wow, I can't believe how much stuff I've missed. I asked Benson if I could maybe get some extra credit and he flat out said, 'sorry missy, but I don't believe in extra credit." She threw her hands in the air, "I'm sorry, do you just not believe in helping your students pass? God, he's such an ass."

Tara nodded, "yeah, he is. I asked him about a question on a test once and he said 'the reason you got it wrong is because you didn't show the original problem'. Took off four points."

Donna shook her head, "unbelievable." She looked at the clock, smiling at Tara, "I really appreciate you doing this, Tara. I have to head out now, but can we maybe meet after school on Monday, if you're free?"

Tara had to think for a second, remembering what time she had to work on Monday. "I have a shift at five, but I should be able to right after school."

"Great, we can meet at the library?" Tara nodded, and both girls started packing their bags. Tara had stopped at her house to change and get her books before driving them to the town library.

They made their way outside, and into Tara's truck for the second time that day. "Where do you want me to drop you off?"

"Back at the garage if you don't mind?"

She shook her head, "not a problem." They sat in silence for a few minutes, both a little out of their element. Tara had asked Donna what was the last chapter she felt pretty strong at, and the two talked math all the way till they reached the library. But now, both seemed to be loss for conversation.

Something did pop into Tara's head. "So, what's the deal with the Sons of Anarchy?" Donna looked at her confused, "I guess, I just don't really know what they are."

"They're a club...it's really as simple as that. Just a bunch of guys who love Harley's, and love what the club offers. Love and friendship, and most importantly, family. It's a brotherhood."

Tara kept her eyes on the road, digesting everything Donna said. She knows there is more to it than that. Ever since she can remember, the town has respected the club, but it seems almost out of fear. No one crosses them, and when they need something, the club gets it. Tara knows that there are some people that are a little too affiliated with the club, some would even say they're on their payroll. There are a few people that think some of the police officers might be on said payroll, especially Officer Unser, who has known some of the club members since their school days.

Donna could see Tara running it through her mind, "it's not as bad as people make it out to be. It's just a club, nothing more, nothing less."

Tara nodded, regretting she ever brought it up. The two sat in silence for the rest of the ride back. As she pulled into the garage, Tara noticed even more people at the garage even though technically it's supposed to close at seven. It's 7:30. Tara also noticed there were more women as well.

She parked in the same spot earlier, turning to Donna as she gathered her stuff. "Thanks again, Tara." She turned in her seat, looking out the back window at the number of people standing around. "You want to stay? We're all just hanging out, you're more than welcome."

Tara waved her off, "no, that's okay, thanks though."

Donna nodded, "okay, see you Monday!"

Tara waited till Donna had closed the door before letting out a long sigh. Tonight had been way too weird for Tara, and she, for the first time in a long time, longed to go home. Just before she was about to put the truck in reverse, a rapping on her window caused her to nearly jump out of her skin.

Jax stood on the other side, smirking. She rolled down the window, "saw you pull in."

Tara tried to hide her confusion, and her nerves. "Uh yeah, I'm just dropping Donna off."

He smiled, shaking his head and Tara got a fluttery feeling in her stomach. "I think it's just because you couldn't stay away from me."

And the fluttery feeling disappeared. Tara glared, "mhmm, you got me Teller. I just needed to see your face, but you know, looking at it up close," she shrugged, "not that great."

Jax laughed, clutching a hand to his heart. "You really know the way to a man's heart, Knowles."

She nodded, "so people tell me."

Jax quirked his head, "you should stay, have a beer."

The small smile on Tara's lips vanished, not sure how she had gotten here. One second she's at the diner, telling Kelly about the on-goings at her old high school, and the next she's sitting in the parking lot of Teller-Morrow, where apparently the Sons of Anarchy convene, sitting in her car, and what she presumes, to be flirting with Jax Teller. _I need to get out of here, _Tara thought.

She gave him a faint smile, "I can't, I have to be somewhere."

Jax nodded, "another time." It wasn't a question, but almost like an assurance which made Tara squirm in her seat. Without another word he walked away from her, and she watched out of her rearview mirror as he joined his friends, a blonde placing herself in his lap.

Apparently the red head is yesterday news.

* * *

><p>Jax rejoined his club, sitting down next to Opie. A blonde, whose name he couldn't even remotely remember, plopped her sweet ass on his lap. He gave her a smile, "how you doin, darlin?"<p>

All that earned him was a sloppy kiss, her tongue thrusting into his. There was very little Jax Teller had to do to get women, and apparently just giving a cheeky smile and a line did it for them. He pulled away, winking at her.

His attention turned to the departing truck, his eyes following it till it turned onto the street and disappeared. He took a long sip of his beer, letting the cool draft flow down his dry throat. He doesn't get a lot of rejections, and this last one for some reason, made him uneasy.

He turned back to the blonde who had struck up a conversation with another crow-eater. She's older than him, about six years older than him. But he didn't mind. Not at all did he mind. He preferred older women, more experience and much more fun than the high school pussy. He's been with a majority of the girls his age in this town, and they don't do shit for him. Besides, he won't getting any respect if he's screwing teenagers. He needs women if he wants to be really known in the club. It's his legacy at stake after all.

Jax nodded to Donna, "why are you and Tara Knowles hanging out?"

Donna, sitting next to Opie, shrugged, "she's just helping me out with some school shit. I've skipped so many damn classes, I'm way behind."

Jax nodded, turning back to the blonde. "How bout you and me go somewhere private, darlin?"

She smiled, "lead the way, baby."

The two stood up, Jax nodded his head to his friends before guiding the busty blonde into the clubhouse, where most of the club members and other crow-eaters are. He embraced some of the members, them giving him a look of approval when they saw his guest for the night, slapping him on the back. God, he loved this life.

He saw his step-father behind the bar, Clay Morrow, and raised his beer bottle in salute. Clay mirrored his action, raising a shot. Jax looked back at his soon-to-be conquest, smiling at her and grabbing her hand, steered her to his apartment room, all the way in the back of the clubhouse.

Jax Teller was about to add to his list.

* * *

><p><strong>And TA-DA! Chapter 2 is up! Hope you all liked it! Thanks for the reviews last chapter, guys!<strong>

**Just a quick note. This is going to seem pretty slow for awhile, because I really want to establish the Jax/Tara relationship. It won't take like 20 chapters for them to finally get together or anything, but it's not going to happen in the next chapter.**

**Tara is the main focus in this story. We know a lot about Jax's history, and being as since Tara is my favorite character, I really want to explore her backstory. And this is what I'm going to do.**

**Jax will get his moments, when it's more focused on him, especially when I add excerpts of his 'Ten Years Alone' in every couple chapters.**

**Okay, that's it! Hope you guys are enjoying this so far! Reviews would be absolutely lovely!**


	3. Chapter 3

_22 October 1994_

Tara pulled into the parking lot of the high school, cursing as she fumbled to get her keys out of the ignition. She had a late start today, getting into it a bit with her father. He woke up this morning, wanting Tara to cook him breakfast, and when she refused because it would make her late for school, he yelled and barked, making her, in the end, late for school.

Tara grabbed her bag and ran to her first period, walking into class just as the bell rang. Mr. Harrison started taking role, and Marcy, who sits in front of her, turned in her seat "I got the go."

Tara's brows furrowed, "go? Go for what?"

"My party! The parents are going out of town this weekend, and Kevin is coming down so he can get us all the alcohol." She pointed a finger at Tara, "and don't even think about flaking out on this one. It was bad enough you missed David's party, but then you skipped out on River's party last weekend, but you are not missing mine."

Tara sighed, "I won't. I'll be there." Truthfully, Tara kinda wanted to go. Marcy usually threw some pretty good parties, and she's been MIA in her social life for a while now and missed her friends. She got a lot of shit for missing those two parties.

Marcy smiled, satisfied and turned back around. Tara had heard some pretty crazy stories about the homecoming party at David's house, but the most popular one was, not surprisingly, Jax beating the crap out of David. She saw him the following Monday, a cut lip, bruises all over his face, and a broken nose. Apparently, David's father, Chief Hale, wanted to press charges but David refused.

She felt bad for David, knowing he probably got more of a shit beating than he deserved. Jax has been known to go too far before, putting a guy in a hospital some time last year for making some remark about SAMCRO, another name for the Sons of Anarchy. She had run her fingers lightly over David's face, knowing that it would make him feel better. Unfortunately he's been following her around like a puppy since then.

The rest of English drew on, and Tara found herself almost falling asleep a couple of times. She had already read _Hamlet_, in her spare time a couple years ago, and relearning it did not pique her interest. Her mind drifted to Donna, thinking of their session later today.

Her and Donna had grown to be friends, saying hello in the halls, talking about stuff outside of math during their lessons, and Donna has actually stopped by the diner a few times, usually by herself, but has shown up once or twice with Opie. Tara had grown accustomed to Opie, as he picks Donna up after school after their sessions, and the three of them have spent time talking in the parking lot. Tara had been a little hesitant to open up to Opie, but she's learned that just because of his size, he really is a sweetheart.

They didn't have too many more sessions to go, as their next test was coming up soon. But Tara feels confident that Donna will do well on the test, seeming to be able to learn from her.

The day passed, and lunch rolled around as Tara sat down at her usual table of friends in the courtyard. They only sit outside when it's nice outside, and even in late October, the California sun beamed down on them from blue skies, warm rays hitting Tara's face. She really did love California, how all year the weather never dropped below 50 degrees. She could never see herself living somewhere east.

"Did you guys here the rumors?" Erin Walker gasped, sitting down across from Tara.

"What?" Marcy asked, eagerly. Marcy has always been one for gossip, loving every little piece of news that goes around Charming High School. Yet, she hates when people gossip about her. Tara always found this quality rather annoying.

"Apparently, Taryn Mitchell totally freaked out at Jax Teller this morning." Tara, not having cared what Erin had to say, perked her head up at the mention of Jax Teller. The two have had no interaction since her first tutoring session with Donna almost two weeks ago, but her interest in the guy had increased greatly.

"What do you mean 'freaked out'?" Beth Frasier asked, who sat next to Tara.

Erin smirked, "word is she showed up at Teller-Morrw yesterday, and found Jax hitting up this older chick, and completely lost it. She started crying and everything, heartbroken. I hear it was hilariously tragic."

Marcy rolled her eyes, "god, Taryn is such a loser. What did she expect? That hooking up with Jax was going to like change him or something? I heard they didn't even sleep together, they just fooled around. She's so pathetic. She probably thought she could make Jax fall in love with her, tame that bad boy side of his." Marcy scoffed, "please. There are just some boys that are meant to be bad, and Jax Teller is not a one-woman guy."

The conversation geared away from Jax Teller, and Marcy started talking about her party. Tara tuned out, thinking about Taryn Mitchell, and how she never really thought of Taryn as someone who would chase a boy. She's pretty, boys usually coming to her, and always seemed to have a good head on her shoulders. But this isn't the first time Tara has heard about girls flinging themselves at Jax Teller, or making complete fools of themselves to get his attention.

Tara was lucky if she didn't blush when a guy came onto her, let alone having the balls to go up to a boy and beg for him. _Girls, _Tara thought, shaking her head lightly.

* * *

><p>Tara opened her locker as her fellow classmates scurried through the halls, making their way out of school. She was to meet Donna in a few minutes, but she wanted to get all the books that she would need for tonight. "Hey Tara," she turned her head to see David, stopping just a few inches away from her, leaning against the locker next to hers.<p>

"Hi David," she replied, giving him a smile. "What's up?"

"Heard about Marcy's thing this weekend. You going?"

She sighed, "David, please don't base your decision on whether or not you're going to go to the party on me."

He rolled his eyes, "I'm not basing my decision on you, Tara. I can't even go, Dad's taking me and Jake on a fishing trip this weekend." He leaned forward, which made Tara lean just a little back. "If you are going, I was just gonna say to have a good time."

Tara shook her head, unable to hide her smile. "David, when are you gonna get over me?"

He smiled then, "probably never." He then looked at her with an expression she had never seen on David, "when are you gonna get it, Tara?"

Her brows furrowed, "get what?"

David stepped towards her, running a finger up and down her bare arm. "Get that every guy in this school would give their own souls to the devil if it meant having a shot with you. How could a guy possibly get over that?" He smiled at her one last time before walking away.

Tara turned and watched him go, wondering what the hell he was talking about. "Hey!" Donna greeted, appearing out of nowhere. "Ready?"

She nodded, "yeah, let's go."

* * *

><p>Donna groaned loudly, earning her a few glares from the other students who sat in the library. She didn't notice, or care. "I can't do this!"<p>

"Yes, you can. Just give it some time," Tara encouraged, keeping her voice low, not wanting to get in trouble. "Why don't we stop for today? We've gone over the basics and general concept, we can start applying it next time."

Donna nodded, "yeah, that sounds good. Thanks." Both girls started packing up their bags, "so I heard about Marcy Johnson's party this weekend."

Tara nodded, smiling, "yeah, she made sure word got around fast."

"You're friends with her right?" Donna asked. "I always see you two together. Are you gonna be there?"

"If I'm not, Marcy will probably find me and serve my head on a platter as a snack. I'm pretty much required to go."

"Why?" Donna laughed lightly.

Tara rolled her eyes, "I've bailed on the past few parties, which makes Marcy think I'm bailing on her, and missing her party? I'll never hear the end of it. She bitched me out for days for missing the homecoming party a few weeks ago, it'll just be a hundred times worse if I skip hers."

"Ahh, the infamous homecoming party. I went to that for a while, well more like 20 minutes, before shit went down."

"Jax?" Tara asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah," she answered, her turn to roll her eyes. "He can be such a dick sometimes. He knew that David would be pissed that we showed up at his house, yet Jax just saw that as an invitation to get into it with him."

Tara bit her lip, knowing the line she was about to cross. She couldn't help but ask though. "Are the rumors true, about Taryn Mitchell?"

Donna groaned, "god, that got out?" Tara nodded lightly, "yeah, they're true. She showed up when I was there, so I got front row seats to yet another show of a girl falling for the Jax Teller Shit-Spew he gives them, and then falls to the ground in absolute love and awe, thinking her and Jax are meant to be." Donna shook her head in disgust, "I love him, but how he treats girls is just awful."

Tara stayed silent, surprised at Donna's confession. She always thought Donna, just like everyone else in town, looked at Jax Teller and saw absolute perfection.

The two stood up, and Donna changed the subject to the new movie with Keanu Reeves coming out, as the two girls made their way out of the school, towards the parking lot.

"Well, this is a surprise," Donna stated, and Tara could hear the surprise in her voice.

She looked up from the ground, glancing at Donna, about ask her what she meant, and noticed her attention was forward. She turned her head to see what she was looking at, and Tara felt her face immediately flush. Opie sat on his bike, parked next to Tara's truck. And sitting on top on her truck, smoking a cigarette, smiling at something Opie had apparently said, sat Jax Teller.

The two boys noticed the girls as they continued to walk through the quad. Donna walked over to Opie, giving him a quick kiss. "Hey baby," he muttered to her. "Hey Tara," he nodded at the other brunette.

Tara gave him a small smile, her eyes meeting the bright blue eyes she had really started growing to like looking at. Jax smirked at her, "how's it going, Knowles?"

Tara stood in front of him, "is there a reason you're perched on top of my truck?"

Jax leaned back a little, "figured it'd be the only way to get you to notice me."

She crossed her arms, hiding her smile, "you're noticed."

Jax smiled, and jumped down from the truck. "Good." He nodded toward his own bike, "why don't you come for a ride with me?"

Tara had to control what seemed like a million emotions that ran through her. But she couldn't hide her confusion. "A ride? On your bike?"

He shrugged, shoving his hands into his jean pockets. "You look like you could use some stress-relief, and lucky for you, Knowles, I got the only remedy for it."

Tara could feel the obvious stares coming from Donna and Opie, and she had a feeling they were just as dumbfounded as she was. Then her thoughts went to what Donna had told her just minutes ago, and then her mind went to Taryn Mitchell, and about ten other girls she knows for certain that has hooked up with Jax in the past few months. And as she looked at him now, seeing his smug smirk and seriously large ego, she knew what his angle was.

"And why would I be good enough company for you, Teller?" she asked, teasing yet being truthful as well. This is twice now Jax Teller has asked her to join him, and she's not sure how she should be handling it.

"Come on babe, don't you want a ride?" Jax asked, cocking his head and smiling at her. That's when Tara snapped out of the daze that Jax had entrapped her in since he had first asked her to have a beer with him. Funny enough, it was him calling her 'babe' that did it.

She pulled out her keys from her bag, smiling at him, "thanks, for the offer Teller, but I'm gonna pass." She waved at Donna and Opie, before climbing into her truck.

"You're just gonna leave a poor guy all alone, then?" Jax teased, his eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

Tara gave him a small smile, then noticed something, her attention turning out to the quad. She saw two girls, Stacy Hampton and Michelle Marks, standing in their short shorts and revealing shirts, leering at Jax. "Something tells me you'll get by," she shut the door, saw Jax turn his head in the direction of the girls, and started her truck, pulling out of the parking lot, her heart racing as if she had just run a marathon.

* * *

><p><em>18 August 1997<em>

_Bobby passed him, two crow-eaters under his arms, as all three stumbled into the clubhouse. Jax chugged the rest of his beer, drowning in the numbness. The roar of a motorcycle drew his attention, and he watched as Opie pulled in, parking in his usual spot, Donna behind him. He could tell they were both buzzed, Opie smiling more than usual, and Donna's laugh always got higher than normal when she drank._

_The two made their way towards him. "Hey brother," Opie greeted, his smile dropping when he saw the state of his best friend. "You okay?"_

_Jax resisted the urge to pound his fist in his face, wondering what the hell could possess him to ask him that question. Ask him that question, with his girl standing right next to him, her arm around him, living the SAMCRO life. Jax nodded, "yeah, fine." He stood up, not wanting to be near them. He grabbed the Jack Daniels whiskey bottle he always carried with him on these nights, and walked into the clubhouse._

_Cigarette smoke fogged the entire bar, as half naked women danced around his brothers. He ignored them all, walking past the chapel and down the hallway into his apartment room. He closed the door, blocking out the noise before collapsing onto his bed. _

_Jax couldn't believe he was here, hiding from his brothers and SAMCRO. He couldn't believe a week had only gone by, whereas it seemed like it's been a hundred years. Everyday he woke up in this room, and he had to remember just who wouldn't be waking up next to him. God, he hated it. He hated waking up alone. He hated waking up knowing he wouldn't see her face, or hear her voice. Just knowing she was only a few minutes away from him, calmed him. How was he supposed to function? How could he look at his president and his mother and not resent them? How could he look at his best friend and the girl who clearly had given up her future for a life with Opie, and not resent them._

_When he was five, all he had dreamt was to be a member. When he was thirteen, all he had dreamt about was following in his fathers footsteps and becoming president. And just in the past year, all he could dream about was becoming president, with his old lady right there next to him._

_Jax took a swig of his whiskey, the burning sensation a welcome relief. He hasn't felt much this past week, barely going through the motions. He knew some of his brothers would think of him pussy, being so torn up about a chick. But Clay understood, as did Opie and Otto. They all had old ladies, and they knew they would be pretty screwed up if any of them had left._

_A knock came at Jax's door. "What?" he called, not bothering to move._

_The door opened, "hey son." Jax rolled his eyes, knowing what Clay had come in here for. "You doing okay?"_

_Jesus christ, people need to stop asking that question. Jax wanted to throw his damn bottle at Clay's head. Jax popped his head off the bed, "yeah, great." Clay didn't miss the sarcasm that dripped from his remark._

_Clay sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Son, I know you're pretty beat up right now. With good reason." He paused, "but come on. She moved on, so should you."_

_Jax clenched his jaw, sitting up. "Yeah, I'll do that. Can you leave?"_

_His step-father glared at him, not appreciating his attitude. "There's a million other chicks out there, son. Get over this shit, and get your head back. You hear me?"_

_Jax just shook his head, standing up and walking out, leaving his whiskey on his wardrobe, alone with Clay. He walked through the clubhouse and back outside, straight to his bike. There was only one place he wanted to be right now._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Thanks everyone for the most amazing reviews! They always bring a smile to my face, just knowing people are reading what I wrote. Here's chapter 3! I promise, it's moving! Chapter 4 will be a lot of fun!

So, Season 4 is over. If I could fall asleep, and wake up in September, I would. Seriously, Sons of Anarchy hiatuses are the worst! I despise them! Especially after the amazingness that this past season was! I'll admit, the finale did leave me a little unsettled, with just how everything was so conveniently resolved.

But then I really thought about it, and honestly I feel this season was more just of a transition period. Everything sort of have to be placed in order for the new seasons to happen, and I think Kurt did an amazing job with how everything happened, and I can not be more excited for season 5!


	4. Chapter 4

_25 October 1994_

"I swear, if I don't get a huge ass tip from Mr. Keep-the-fries-coming I'm quitting and joining a strip club," Kelly groaned, joining Tara behind the counter. "Another plate of fries, Ernie."

"Strippers do make good cash," Tara stated, looking Kelly up and down, "you'd make a good stripper."

Kelly laughed, "thanks." She leaned against the counter, "so, big party tonight. What time are you heading over there?"

"I'm gonna go home and change, then go. Marcy has already called me three times today making sure I haven't decided to ditch, and she wants me to come early to help her set up and get the party going."

Kelly rolled her eyes, "that Marcy." Tara gave her a warning look, "what? Come on, it's common knowledge we don't like each other. She thinks I fill bad shit in your head about her, and I think she just clutches onto you because you get the attention that she thrives for."

Tara shook her head, "that's not true. Besides, you're coming cause I asked you to, and because you're such a great friend, you agreed."

She gave a dramatic sigh, "it's a curse!"

A bell dinged from behind them, as Ernie stuck out his head, "fries are up!"

Kelly grabbed them, "alright buddy, time for you and me to have some fun." Tara watched her as she sauntered over to the customer, placing the fries in front of him, and leaned against the back of his booth, smiling and giving him a big laugh. Kelly always flirts with the customers in order to get big tips, and it usually pays off.

Tara glanced at the clock. An hour of work before she had the whole weekend off, and for the first time in a long time, she looked forward to having a couple days off and hanging out with her friends. She had asked Kelly to make an appearance at the party, wanting some form of sanity there. No doubt people were going to go crazy tonight, and with Marcy going to be too busy hosting, she wanted a familiar face there. And Tara secretly knew Kelly liked going to parties, even if they are high school ones.

The hour passed by rather quickly, even with the few customers that lounged back, tired from the long week. Kelly didn't get off for another a couple of hours, and she told Tara she'd meet up with her at the party. She said goodbye to Ernie and headed home.

Dodger sat outside, perking up as Tara pulled into the small driveway. The cutlass was gone, and Tara was thankful. Her father had been especially drunk these past few days, and had gotten into a couple of fights with him this week. She knew he would have ruined her mood if he had been home.

She walked into her small house, Dodger on her heels, and went straight for the bathroom. She took a long shower, scrubbing off all the grease and fry smell, before getting out and covering herself with a towel. She decided to let her hair air-dry tonight, letting her natural curls make an appearance.

As she dried, she tried to find an outfit to wear. It would be warm tonight, and Marcy has a pretty nice backyard, and Tara knew she would probably find herself outside more than inside tonight. She opted for a her favorite slimming jeans, the ones that made her hips look more curvy than they really are, and a white tank top underneath a black one. She picked out picked out her favorite black boots, and grabbed her jacket just in case, before heading back out of the house, Dodger behind her. _Here we go, _she thought, climbing back into her truck and heading towards Marcy's house.

* * *

><p>The house smelled of alcohol and smoke, as the laughter and chatter were drowned out by the bass of the stereo. Tara had been here for about three hours now, and it hadn't taken long for it to be in full swing. She had shown up to help Marcy, but they didn't have long before people started showing up. When that happened, she lost Marcy and hadn't been able to find her since.<p>

Tara has always blended in pretty well, making her way around and conversing with different groups. She's always been good with people, being able to mingle with various groups. She broke away from the jocks she had been talking to, heading to the kitchen.

Marcy lived in the more wealthy part of Charming, so her house was a good one to have a party at. It was spacious, and there was a patio and pool out back, so not everyone stayed inside. Tara walked into the kitchen, and saw Marcy's brother, Kevin, manning the keg. She grabbed a bottle of Miller from the cooler, and saw a disheveled looking Marcy appear.

"Where have you been?" she asked, sounding out of breath. She grabbed the beer from Tara's hand, gulping down almost half of it. She looked around, "so?" Tara shook her head in confusion, causing Marcy to sigh, "so, what do you think? Do you think people are having fun?"

Marcy got overwhelmed pretty easily, and these types of situations made her really on edge. Tara smiled at her assuringly, "they're having a great time, Marcy. Relax."

She nodded, seeming to accept her assurance. "Too bad David isn't here," Marcy said, smirking at Tara suggestively.

She rolled her eyes, "oh yeah, it's too bad he missed an opportunity to follow me around all night, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, begging me to acknowledge him." She took a drink, "that's really too bad."

Marcy turned on her, "seriously, Tara! The guy is madly in love with you, worships the ground you walk on and would probably walk off a god damn cliff for you. Why won't you just give him a chance?"

Tara glared at her, "you know, I'm having a good time right now. Let's not ruin it."

Her friend rolled her eyes, turning away from her. Tara shook her head, wondering when Marcy would give up this fantasy of her and David. She always asked Marcy if she thinks he's so great, why doesn't she go after him. Marcy always says that he's not her type of guy, which always makes Tara pissed. Clearly Marcy thinks David, who is kind of a wuss, is a perfect match for Tara. She always has to resist the urge to slap her friend when she says shit like that.

She noticed Marcy perk up, and a small smile form on her lips. Marcy glanced at Tara, "well, looks like the party just started."

Tara, confused, shook her head, wondering what she meant. Marcy cocked her head towards the direction of the door, and Tara followed her direction. Donna and Opie walked in, her confusion building because she knows for a fact that Marcy doesn't necessarily care for those two. But then her confusion faded as she realized what Marcy was focused on.

Jax stood off to the side of his friends, dressed in his usual jeans and t-shirt, but his kutte, which he usually always wore, was missing. Tara clenched her jaw, taking a rather large swig from her beer. _Damn it, _she cursed. She had really hoped he wouldn't show up tonight, still reeling from his invitation a few days ago. She hadn't seen him since, but every time she thought she was done thinking about it, she started analyzing it in her head all over again.

"Hmm, how is it even possible for a man to be as fine as he is," Marcy's voice dropped, her eyes peeled on the messy blonde head as he sauntered through the house with his friends. Tara noticed most of the girls he passed kept their beady eyes on him.

She took a few steps backwards, until she could feel the island counter in her back. She didn't mind Opie or Donna showing up, she was actually happy to see them, but her nerves were now in overdrive with Jax unexpectedly here.

The three newcomers walked into the kitchen, no doubt looking for the beer. Donna saw her first, "Tara!" She embraced her friend, "I was just about come look for you."

Tara smiled, "I didn't know you were coming."

She shrugged, grabbing a beer. "Thought it'd be fun." She took a sip before handing it to Opie, who gave Tara a warm smile. "So, what's going on?"

She shook her head, "not much." She could feel a pair of eyes on her, and turned her head to see Jax leaning against the archway of the wall, a smirk on his face. She quickly looked back at Donna, "what have you guys been up to?"

"Donna screwed up my car, had to fix the damn brakes," Opie answered, leaning next to Tara. "Decided it'd be a good idea to use the emergency brake instead of the pedals to stop."

Tara couldn't help but laugh, looking at her friend who glared at her boyfriend. "It was a momentary lapse in stupidity! It's fixed isn't it?"

"Yeah," Jax scoffed, stepping towards them, "after five hours of god damn labor, with no help from you." He stepped next to Tara, giving her a quick look before turning his attention to Donna.

"It's not like you guys would've let me help, even though I know my way around a car," she defended, and Tara couldn't hide her smile. She wasn't sure if it was because of her friend's antics, or Jax standing next to her.

"Yeah, just not the break pedals," Opie teased, grabbing her hand as it tried to slap him on the arm. He pulled her into him, giving her a quick kiss.

"How's it goin, Knowles," Jax asked, peering down at Tara, his voice only loud enough for her.

She looked up at him, giving him her best smile, "pretty good, you?"

"Spending too much time with these two can get pretty lonely," he said, nodding his head to Donna and Opie, who had gone into their own world. "Know anyone who might be able to keep a guy from loosing his mind?"

Tara knew what he wanted her to say, but she wouldn't feed him that cocky smile that seemed to be plastered onto his face. She looked around the house, "well, there's Jenny Mathers," she nodded her head to the pretty blonde standing near the keg. "Oh, and there's Waverly Bennett," she stated, seeing the black haired beauty by the staircase. "I'm sure they would be more than happy to keep you sane."

Jax dropped his head, nodding. "I guess that's fair. What if I said I didn't come here for them," his blue eyes looked back up at her, and Tara could feel her stomach doing pretty funny things, "what if I said I came here for you."

Oh how she wanted to believe his words. She wanted to believe them as if her life depended on it. But she didn't. Couldn't. This was Jax Teller standing before her, and she knew what he was doing. "Then I would ask you why you're so interested?"

Something flashed in his blue eyes. Something almost dangerous. He opened his mouth to say something, but both turned to look at a group of girls, giggling loudly, walk up to them. Tara recognized the front girl as Faith Jenner, a girl who certainly makes her way around. "Hey Jax," she purred.

"Hey darlin," he replied, his mood shifting back to his normal-self. Tara looked down at her feet, not wanting to see this. She had heard Jax call girls that before, and it made her stomach churn.

"We were just about to have some fun in the pool," Faith flirted, twirling her bright red hair, "you wanna play?"

She didn't dare look at him, even though she could feel his eyes on her. Tara knew if she met his eyes again, he would decline and then she would be really screwed. So she kept her eyes trained on the tile floor, her hands playing with her beer. After a few seconds Jax answered, "sounds like a party."

All the girls laughed as if he was the funniest guy in the world, and as she felt Jax push away from her, she looked up and watched his retreating form, an arm slung over Faith. She let out a sigh, and downed the rest of her beer.

* * *

><p>"I feel like I'm 100 years old," Kelly groaned, drinking her wine-cooler. "Seriously, just dig a grave for me right now."<p>

Tara laughed, nudging her friends shoulder, "you're not old. Besides, there a couple of people here that are older than you."

Kelly glared at her, "which makes them just as pathetic as me, and that doesn't make me feel better." She sighed, "when the hell am I going to get out of here, Tara?"

She frowned, "soon. Trust me, if there is one person in this town that deserves to get out, it's you." Tara turned to look at her fellow peers, watching as two guys tossed away their shirts, pounding their fists on their bare chests as if they were apes. "For me though, who the hell knows when I'm getting out."

Kelly glanced at her, brows furrowed. "What are you talking about? Tara, we're gonna get out. You and me. And when one of us leaves, we're going to move the freaking North Pole to get the other out."

Tara laughed, "sounds like a deal."

The other girl nodded. "I'm gonna get another beer. You want one?"

Tara shook her head, "I'm good." Kelly nodded, walking into the throng of people that littered the house, and in just seconds, Tara lost sight of her friend. She had lost Marcy again, but she had caught a glimpse of her awhile ago chatting with Rick Donner, and knew she would feel pretty at ease talking to him.

She had also lost Opie and Donna, figuring they were staying close to Jax, wherever the hell he was. Tara had made a point to stay away from the pool, deciding to stay inside for a few hours.

She leaned against the wall, watching her fellow peers dance and chat as she drank her beer. She liked these kind of parties. Where people seemed to have their heads on straight, and instead of getting plastered or high, they are actually looking for a good time. Although, it still is pretty early, Tara realized. People will start getting rowdy come a couple hours or so.

"Hey Tara," a deep voice greeted from behind, causing the pretty brunette to jump.

She turned her head to see River Mason standing close to her, his pretty green eyes smiling at her. "Damn River, you really know how to cause a girls' heart to stop beating."

He laughed, placing a hand over her head as he stayed behind her. "Sorry bout that. How's it going?"

She smiled, "great. Pretty good party, huh?"

He nodded, scanning the scene before them. "Marcy throws some good ones." His eyes traveled back to hers, "what's a gorgeous girl like you doing over here by yourself?"

She rolled her eyes, "tell me, did you spend five or ten minutes standing off to the side, staring at me, coming up with that cheesy ass line?"

He ducked his head, smiling. "I'll have you know, I spent a good fifteen minutes trying to come up with that line."

"Oh, really?" she laughed, turning around to face him, their bodies close together. "Then I should probably be more appreciative then, huh?"

He nodded, lowering his head. "It would be the polite thing to do. And I think I know a couple ways you might be able to show your appreciation."

Her eyebrow quirked upward, "yeah? Well, I have one, and I think we'll both really like it." She backed up, holding out her beer, "here, you can finish this for me." He grabbed it from her, bewildered, "hope that makes up for you standing off on the side, acting slightly stalkerish and staring at me for a creepy amount of time." She patted his chest before walking off, rolling her eyes.

* * *

><p>Jax strolled through the house, just a few people still there, most of them finishing off the keg. He had been outside with what's-her-name for about an hour, and once he was done with her he came back inside to look for Opie and Donna. He wanted to get the hell out of here, deciding to head to the clubhouse where he knew the real party was.<p>

He walked through the back door, out onto the patio. A few people were in the pool, mostly girls with just a few guys. Off to the side, a fire had started as there were a handful of kids sitting by it, some of them smoking. He saw Opie and Donna sitting around it, passing a joint back and forth. His eyes traveled to a brunette who's back was to him, but he knew immediately who it was. He walked over to her, just as she puffed out a ring of smoke.

She turned her head to him as he sat down next to her on the lawn chair, smirking at her. Jax couldn't describe how sexy he thought she looked smoking that joint. She eyed him for a few seconds, "how was your pool party?"

He didn't miss the bitterness that laced through her words, and that made him smirk even more. "Wet," he answered, taking the joint from her.

She looked away, her eyes trained on the fire before them. "I'll bet." He kept his blue eyes on her, watching as the light from the fire danced on her face, her brown eyes looking almost black.

"You wanna go for a ride?" he asked, breaking the silence.

She smiled, turning towards him. "When are you gonna stop asking me that question?"

"When you finally say yes," he replied, his face completely blank. He meant what he said, even though he could tell she didn't believe it. He wanted her to come for a ride with him, but he had no idea why he wanted her to say yes so badly.

She shook her head, "I'm not what you're looking for Jax."

This confused him. How the hell would she know what he wants. "You don't know that," he took a drag of the joint, "you run away from me before you can find out."

She sighed, her shoulders sagging, turning back to him with a small smile. "You really know how to kill a girls' buzz, Teller."

He laughed, and it surprised him. There's been a couple times now he's been surprised when Tara makes him laugh. It's rare when that happens. Usually only Donna can make him laugh, but in the past year he's rarely laughed. He seems to do it a lot around Tara though, and it makes him a little unnerved.

"Sorry," he replied.

A presence loomed over him, causing him to look up. Opie and Donna stood over them. "Hey brother," Opie greeted, nodding to Tara. "We're heading back to the clubhouse, you coming?"

He nodded, "yeah."

"Tara, you want to come?" Donna asked, surprising everyone.

Jax looked at the girl next to him, meeting her eyes. He saw something flash in them, something almost playful, something that made him believe she would say yes. She would say yes to coming back to the clubhouse with him, which also meant she would be agreeing to ride on his bike.

She looked back up at Donna, "no, thanks. I'll see you guys later, though."

Opie and Donna nodded, smiled before walking away. Tara looked back at Jax, his face emotionless. He stared at her, willing her to say something. He thought she would say yes, and when she rejected him yet again, he finally realized how much he had wanted her to say yes. He clenched his jaw, "bye Tara."

She took a deep breath, "bye Jax."

And with that, he stood up, with no last glance at her, and walked away from her.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Thank you all so much for the reviews! I'm so happy you all are enjoying this story!

First Tuesday without SoA? I about lost my mind, literally. I hate these hiatuses! But one Tuesday down, and about a million more to go! Anyway, here's chapter 4. I re-wrote this so many times, and I still have iffy feelings for it. Some versions had them seriously bonding, and some had Jax acting completely in love with her which just made me mad because that's not what I want. But I'm sorta genuinely pleased with this. I hope you all are too!


	5. Chapter 5

_28 October 1994_

Tara scurried around her room, wondering where her spanish book could have gone. She had it last night, reading over and over verbs. She had studied so hard she thought she might even be able to hold a five minute conversation in spanish of what she would be doing in the future. She has a knack for being able to retain information, facts and formula's, but not when it's in a different language.

She grabbed her bag, giving up on the book, and made her way down the hall. Robert was passed out on the couch, apparently not having been able to make it back to his own bed last night. She ignored him, and walked into the kitchen. She needed to get out of there before her father woke up, or otherwise she would have to endure a screaming fest because of the lack of food they were currently living with. She planned on going to the store after school today, knowing that would keep him happy.

She grabbed the last granola bar, peeling away the wrapper and stuffing it into her mouth. Dodger came padding into the kitchen, going straight to his bowl, hopelessly wondering if Tara gave him a second helping of breakfast. She smiled when he looked at her disappointed, "sorry, bud. Besides, your getting a little chubby, you can live without the calories for today."

He whined, causing her to laugh. She was cut off when the phone rang. She grabbed it quickly, glancing at her father who remained still, heaving a sigh of relief. She walked to the corner of the kitchen, where her voice would be more muffled. "Hello?"

"Is that the beautiful Tara Knowles?" the voice on the other line greeted, her voice high in delight.

Tara smiled, recognizing her father's cousin, Coleen Grant. "It is. How are you?"

"I'm about to lose my very mind, but other than that I'm wonderful." She laughed, "but how are you? Sorry to call so early, I know you're probably on your way out the door but I've got surgeries booked until the freaking new year and this might be the only time I could get you. So in about ten minutes, tell me everything!"

Tara didn't mind Coleen calling so early. In fact, Tara didn't mind Coleen calling at all. She loved talking to her second cousin, it gave her a sense of sanity that her family may not in fact be totally and royally screwed up. Coleen lives in San Diego, and has been working at the San Diego Naval Medical Center for almost ten years now. Coleen is the only family member on both sides that seems to have been able to make a life for herself that doesn't involve gas stations, trailers, or more than five kids. Coleen is the only inspiration in Tara's life, and even sometimes thinks about joining her down there in San Diego and following in her footsteps.

"Life is," she paused, not entirely sure what her life currently is. "It's life I guess. School is good, and work has been going great too."

"Yeah, and what about you? How are you doing, sweetheart?"

Tara sighed, not surprised Coleen wanted to know the deeper emotions and ongoings in Tara's life. She wanted to tell her cousin that she finds herself sad and tired all the time, that when she wakes up she has nothing to look forward to. She wants to tell her that she hates her father and every time she goes to sleep, she wishes her mother was still alive and it was her father that was dead. She wants to tell her everything, but she can't. She knows Coleen too well. She knows that Coleen will drop her life to take care of Tara, and she can't hold that burden. Tara won't allow it. "I'm actually pretty good. It's been hard, but it's getting better."

Coleen gave a breath of relief, "good. You know if you need anything, I'm just a phone call away."

Tara nodded, "I know."

"Well the main reason I wanted to call was because I wanted to run something by you. How would you feel about maybe coming up here for Thanksgiving. You can get away from Charming for a couple days, meet John, and maybe someone wonderful will take time off and show you around UC." She paused, "what do you think?"

"That would be amazing!" Tara exclaimed, excitement overpowering her. She hasn't been to San Diego in almost ten years, and she's been dying to meet her cousins' fiancé, but most importantly, she could not be more overjoyed at the prospect of touring the University of California, where she had definitely seen herself studying there many times. Her eyes glanced over at the lying 240 pound lump on the couch, "just me?"

"Yeah, I think it would be good for you to maybe get away from your dad and Charming, even if it's just for a week or so."

"Yeah," Tara scoffed, "a day away from this place will probably cleanse my whole body. I can't imagine what a couple days might do."

Coleen chuckled, "well, we are going to make it happen." She hesitated, "speaking of your father, is he around?"

Tara's eyes roamed back to the couch, "uh, yeah he is, he's just currently lying in a pool of his own alcoholic drool."

Her cousin sighed, "well, I'll call in a couple of weeks, and hopefully he'll be conscious and I can talk to him about it then. Well, I'll let you go. Have a good day at school, sweetie."

"Bye Coleen, thanks for calling." The two hung up, and Tara couldn't hold back the smile that crossed her face. For once, Tara actually had something to look forward to. Too bad Thanksgiving is a month away. She grabbed her bag, Dodger following behind her, and headed out the door for school.

* * *

><p>Students rushed past her, some with bags of food, others empty-handed, braving the cafeteria food. Tara opened her locker, never really in any hurry to get to lunch, and started unpacking her books from the morning classes. A body crashed against the locker next to her, causing her to jump slightly.<p>

"I have to tell you something, and you're probably going to hate me," Marcy said, eyeing Tara with apprehension.

"Then it's probably better that I don't know," Tara responded, knowing that Marcy telling her first that she won't like what she has to say is a very bad sign.

"Yeah, probably, but I'm going to tell you anyway." She took a breath, "so I kinda might have sort of hooked up with Flynn Norman at my party."

Tara froze, her heart practically stopping. She turned to Marcy, her jaw hanging in disbelief. She shook her head, refusing to believe it. "No, please, please tell me you didn't."

Marcy frowned, shrugging. It took everything for Tara not to rip out her friends hair. She could tell Marcy was feigning guilt and regret, but Tara knew better. Marcy had made it her sole mission to hook up with Flynn since he became single, but Tara had always been able to ward her off. She even thought she had gotten through to Marcy, seeing as how she had stopped talking about him for almost a month. But her friend had fooled her. "I can't believe you did this."

"It's not like I did something wrong, Tara!" she cried, earning a few curious glances their way by the passerby's. "Look, I know you're probably gonna end up in the middle of this, and I'm sorry about that. But he's free, and he didn't seem to have any ideas about reconciliation in his head when he was with me."

Tara shook her head, closing her locker with a but more force than needed. She faced Marcy, "you couldn't resist could you? You know what this is gonna lead to. She will never forgive you for this."

Marcy rolled her eyes, "and I care? We're not friends, Tara! I'm sorry that this could cause tension between you two, but Kelly and I have nothing to hold onto, and I'm not going to live my life according to her feelings. Besides, she was the one that broke up with him!"

Tara ran her a hand through her hair, trying to hold in her anger. She glared at Marcy, "you know you make it really hard to be friends with you."

Her eyes hardened, and Marcy took a step back. "Oh I'm sorry Tara. I'm so sorry you've been wasting your self-righteous, thinks she's too good for the low life's in this town, bashes on anyone who decides to make a life here, time. Sorry for being your friend." She stalked off, leaving Tara at her locker in bewilderment.

Tara leaned her back against the locker, wondering what the hell just happened. She had a good morning. She was able to avoid her father, got exciting news from her cousin, and even did well on her spanish test. Now, her friend, one of her oldest friends, just practically called her a bitch. Marcy bashed her after she had just told her that she hooked up with Kelly's ex-boyfriend. The two had dated almost three years, and Kelly had decided to take a break because she thought the two had drifted apart and were hanging onto something that no longer existed. It had torn Kelly apart, because Flynn was the only good thing in her life, and Tara had stayed late at the diner listening to her friend rant and offering Kelly her shoulder as she cried her eyes out.

Marcy had come to Tara the day after they had broken up, asking her if the rumors were true. For almost two months, she had talked about calling Flynn up or seeking him out. Tara knew that most of the reason Marcy wanted Flynn was because Kelly had him for so long, but Tara was always able to convince Marcy to back off. She thought maybe Marcy understood where she was coming from, but much to Tara's dismay, Marcy had no clue about her feelings.

Tara wondered if she should even care about Marcy's feelings.

* * *

><p>The bright sun beamed overhead, the air cool and warm at the same time. She loved sitting outside when the weather was like this. Tara had opted out of lunch, deciding to head to the quad outside of the library, as her next class is study hall. She had pulled out her history book, reading ahead for class so she would have more time for her other homework. Chemistry was really kicking her butt. It wasn't hard, in fact science came completely natural to her, but Mrs. Morris assigns at least three chapters a night and requires her students to do the chapter study questions.<p>

Tara loved science. She's taken biology her first two years, and this year she was able to take chemistry. Once she finishes chemistry, she'll be able to take the class she has been most excited to take since she had first learned about it when she was a freshman; Human Anatomy. Ever since she was little, she had always been interested in the human body and she could not wait to take the class that specialized in the subject next year. Mrs. Morris, who has a degree in biology andalso teaches the human anatomy class, has already talked to Tara about maybe taking the AP class that the teacher hopes will be instituted next year.

Study hall had already started, other familiar students filing outside to sit on the picnic tables. Students were to either report to the library, the quad, or they were allowed to go to another classroom as long as they had a signed slip from the teacher. Tara usually always went to Mrs. Morris's class, who teaches Biology this period for freshmen, but because they are taking a test, Tara decided to spend her hour outside today.

Tara had just finished reading about the Salem witch trials when she felt someone plop down next to her. She turned her head, and she couldn't hold back the smile the graced her face when she saw the quickly becoming familiar blue eyes of Jax Teller. "Well this is a surprise."

He smirked, straddling the bench, leaning his arm against the top of the table. "A surprise in that you're overcome with ecstatic emotion by seeing me? Geez, Knowles, I had no idea you felt that way, I'll have to stop by more often."

She rolled her eyes, "that's not exactly what I was going for. What class are you ditching?"

He shook his head, "I'm not. This is my study hall. I'm usually other places this period, but I saw you out here and thought there's no place better than with you."

Tara shook her head, unable to control her wild smile. "You really know how to lay the charm on pretty thick don't you, Teller?"

He shrugged, "I guess I just can't control it when I'm with you." The two laughed as his cheesiness. He grabbed the front of her book, raising it off the table to read the front. "U.S. History. You study too much you know that?"

She laughed, "and what do you think would be an acceptable amount of studying?"

"Well, an hour seems sufficient. And then after your hour of studying, you reward yourself with a ride along the outskirts of town on a motorcycle with the best guy in town."

She nodded, "wow, that does sound good." She gave him a sly smirk, "do you think Opie has time after school today?"

Jax laughed, "that's…that's real nice."

Someone cleared their throat, causing both Tara and Jax to raise their head. Mr. Dickens stood in front of their table, arms crossed, staring daggers into Jax. "As happy as I am to see you actually where you are supposed to be, Mr. Teller, do you mind being respectable and lowering your voice. Some students are actually trying to study, being on since they are in study hall."

Tara ducked her head, hiding her smile. Mr. Dickens can be a hard ass, and make life pretty hard for you if you get on his bad side. Tara knows Jax skips a lot of class, but he has that way about him that makes a lot of teachers unable to hate him. He gave Mr. Dickens a bright smile, "so sorry, Mr. D. I was just talking to Tara here about the influence the federalists and anti-federalists had on society and how its shaped our modern day political ways."

Both Tara and the teacher looked at Jax in surprise, both in amazement. Mr. Dickens, getting past his shock, nodded slowly, "well, keep discussing, just lower your voices please."

As soon as she was out of earshot, Tara turned back to Jax. "That was pretty impressive."

He shrugged, "I did a paper on it last year. Got a C. Best grade I ever got. It kinda stuck with me."

She could tell he didn't like this topic, as he lost the teasing and coy look in his blue eyes. Tara got a feeling that Jax didn't like talking about his academic success. Or lack thereof. "Jax," her voice was barely above a whisper, "as much as I like the sly innuendos and flattering remarks you give me, you need to know that it's never going to be more than that."

His brows furrowed, his eyes darkening. "What brought this on?"

She took a deep breath, coming to realization that she does not like when his eyes darken like that. She can tell that it's when his demeanor changes. "I've known you since pre-school, but I don't really know you. But I've heard a lot of things, Jax. Some of them may be true, some of them may not be. But it's still been said, and it's not something that I can just forget. If what you want from me is what I think, then I can tell you right now," she paused, studying his face, "you're not going to get it."

He bowed his head, his eyes on the grass below their feet. He tried to control his emotions. He met her eyes, "what if I just wanted friendship? Can I get that?"

She stared at him, confused now. She thought Jax wanted her in a sexual way. And besides Donna, Jax Teller didn't have any friends that were girls. And yet here he sat, telling her he wanted to be her friend. After eleven years, he's telling her that he wants a friendship with her. If Jax Teller was good at anything, it's throwing people completely off guard. And even though Tara has found herself telling Jax 'no' over the past couple weeks, more than once, she couldn't find herself to say it this time. Not when his eyes bore into hers, and she couldn't find a trace of insincerity in them. "Okay." She nodded, "we can be friends."

"Yeah?" his smirk came back. "Well now that we're friends, will my friend be willing to teach me the reasons of the civil war before seventh period? I got a test."

She laughed, "oh so this is what you really want. My brain."

He shrugged, "it was bound to come out eventually." They both chuckled, and Tara grabbed her book closer and turned to the front. She had to admit to herself she liked being around Jax. He made her feel something she hasn't felt in a long time. She felt happy.

* * *

><p>Jax rode into Teller-Morrow, backing his bike farthest from the front where Clay's bike was. He's only a prospect. He's lucky he gets to park his bike in the same five-mile vicinity of the patched members. Everyone keeps telling him that he should enjoy his youth. Enjoy the life of being a prospect. No. He wants to be a member of his father's legacy. He wants to sit at the head of the table, gavel in his hand, ruling the club, just as his father once did.<p>

His thoughts turned dark, as his father's face came crashing to the forefront of his mind. God, he missed him. He missed him more than words can process. He wasn't the best father, hell he wasn't even the best husband. But Jax missed him. He would give anything to spend one last day with him. It was bad enough that Thomas died, his other half being ripped away from him before they were even old enough to walk across the street alone. But then his father died. And now he feels as if everything is being ripped away from him.

He climbed off his bike, placing his helmet on his seat. He had to start work in a few minutes, but decided to get a beer before his shift. He walked into the clubhouse, nodding to Chibs and Bobby who were playing pool, and joined Opie at the bar. "Hey man."

"Hey." Opie took a swig of his own beer, "so you gonna tell me what you're doing?"

Jax looked at him questionably, "what are you talking about?"

"Well, when you didn't show up in the parking lot during study hall, I came looking for you." Opie rubbed his beanie over his head, scratching his forehead. "I saw you in the quad, with Tara." He glared at his best friend, "what the hell you doin'?"

Jax scoffed, "we're friends, Ope. Nothing more, all right?"

Opie turned in his chair, facing Jax head on. "Donna likes Tara. And so do I. I don't want her becoming another chick that passes through here, only to be crushed when she figures out that you wanted nothing more from her than pussy. You hurt her, we're gonna have problems." With that, Opie stood up and headed outside, leaving Jax alone with his beer.

Jax watched his retreating form, thinking about what his friend had just said. He wanted to follow his friend's words. He wanted to just stay friends with the gorgeous brunette. He knows that's all that she wants. But he can't get past what he wants. And what he wants is her. He noticed her. He's always noticed her. But he's always thought that she was too good for him. Too smart for him. Too wonderful for a low life like him.

But then he talked to her a few weeks ago in the diner. He had just walked in there for some fries, and then he saw her. He saw her with her shirt all ruffled and her dark hair hanging in her face, with a pen and paper in her hand. That image, of her frazzled and flustered, he hasn't been able to get it out of his head. And he's made it his sole mission to get close to her. The image in his mind isn't enough. He needs to see her in the daylight, where the sun in shining down and making her seem brighter than normal.

He wants to be friends with her. He does. He meant what he had told her. But he couldn't deny that he had an underlying plan. He knew that she wouldn't fall for his crap. She's too smart for him. But he'll be damned if he lets that get in the way. Jax Teller wants Tara Knowles. There's something about her, that makes him go crazy. She's not like the other girls. She doesn't fall for his shit. She doesn't collapse onto her knees begging for him. She stands tall, secure and sure of herself. Something he finds incredibly sexy.

Jax was going to follow Opie's wishes. He wasn't going to hurt her. If there is one thing Jax is completely sure of, it's that he never wants to hurt Tara Knowles.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Hi everyone! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews last chapter! Hope you all are still enjoying the story! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, and that everyone has a fine New Years!


	6. Chapter 6

_2 November 1994_

The afternoon rush left Tara and Kelly exhausted, both sitting at the counter stocking the napkin holders. It had been a chaotic Saturday afternoon, leaving Tara trying to remember the last time it had been that busy in her three year tenure working at the small-town diner. Truth be told, Tara was happy that it had been so busy. It gave her time to stall from telling Kelly the information she's been in the know for almost a week now. Kelly had asked off for this week, visiting her family that lived in Stockton and had just returned this morning in time for work.

The diner was dead now, just an elderly couple remaining as they finished off their pies. Tara took a deep breath, hating the conversation that was about to take place. She had wrestled all week on how she was going to go about telling Kelly, and at that moment, she still didn't know how to. "So, I need to tell you something."

"Is it about Marcy and Flynn?" Kelly interjected, her eyes keeping on the napkins she was stuffing.

Tara's head jerked up, shocked. "You know?"

Her friend sighed, her shoulders sagging. "Yeah, I know. Kim Anderson called me the day after and told me." She shot a glare at Tara, "thanks for telling me a week after it happened, though."

"I didn't want to tell you over the phone," she defended, ashamed of herself though. She should have told Kelly sooner. "I'm sorry."

Kelly stopped, turning to Tara. "I'm not mad at you." She shook her head, "I just…can't understand why you're friends with her."

"I pretty much spoke those thoughts when she told me." Tara got up and walked around the counter, putting the leftover napkins underneath. "Are you okay?"

Kelly shrugged, "I should be. We've been apart for almost three months now. I know he's been with other girls. We haven't talked since."

"This is about Marcy though, isn't it?"

She nodded, "I know you like her, and I try to respect that, Tara, I do. But there is something just so awful about her. I know you don't want to hear it, but she's gonna hurt you. One of these days, she's gonna betray you, and I just hope you use that brilliant brain of yours and cut ties with her before she has the opportunity."

Tara bit her lip, something she always does when she's deep in thought. Tara has always known that being Marcy's friend can bring a lot of drama and potential betrayal. And Tara has always had trust issues, which is why there aren't many close people in her life. And she's always known that Marcy will never be someone that's going to a person to get past her walls.

The bell over the door chimed, and Mrs. Daisy walked in. Though she's the owner of the quaint diner, she's rarely ever present. "Hello everyone," she greeted, her smile overshadowing the tension that had mounted in the diner in the last five minutes. "How did we do today?"

"We did great. It's Saturday, so everyone is in a chirpy mood which always means lots of tips," Kelly answered, her mood completely changing from dejected to cheerful.

"Oh wonderful." Her attention turned to the small window behind Tara, "and how are you Ernie? Still alive I hope?"

Ernie's head stuck out, "barely. These two may be all happy and joyful, but I can barely lift my arms."

Mrs. Daisy frowned, "well that's no good. I was gonna ask for some fries." Ernie's face dropped, which caused the old lady to bust out in laughter, "I'm kidding, darling. Fred is coming in a few minutes, and you can take a much deserved break." Ernie let out a sigh, smiling at the news and disappearing from the window. "You girls okay for the rest of the night?"

Tara and Kelly nodded, knowing the afternoon rush won't even compare to the evening one. Tara figured she had about a two hour break before things got really crazy.

* * *

><p>Tara waved goodbye to Kelly and Ernie as they headed out the door. She had agreed to close tonight, making a deal with Kelly that she would close the next three nights since she had been off for a few days. Tara didn't mind closing. It kept her away from her returning home sooner than she would like. She wiped off the last booth, returning behind the counter to start inventory.<p>

A knock on the glass door startled her, but a smile spread across her face when she saw the familiar petite brunette standing on the other side. She waved Donna in, realizing that the sign said 'closed'. Donna walked in, the bell chiming, "hey. Saw you from across the street. How's it going?" she asked, sitting down in front of her.

"Busy day. You'd think people are starving with how much food we had to cook today. What are you up to?"

"Keeping Ope and Jax out of trouble. Cause god knows that's what I want to be doing on my Saturday night." She cocked her head to the side, a smirk forming, "speaking of the blonde-head greek god, what's going on between you two?"

Tara had to duck her head, trying her hardest not to turn red. It had been a couple days since her study hall encounter with Jax, and true to his word, he made it known that they were going to be friends. He showed up everyday the past week at study hall, sitting down next to her, sometimes a little too close for comfort, and made it very difficult for Tara to actually study. He talks a lot through the entire hour, teasing her sometimes, or making jokes, or asking her questions in true curiosity. She was afraid that when she had told Jax that they can only be friends, he would give up his pursuit of her, but she's come to realize that it seems to only have made him more determined. And if she's completely honest, she's relieved that he hasn't given up. She likes when he's around.

"There's nothing. We're friends, and that's it." She hoped that Donna didn't notice Tara not only trying to convince her but herself as well.

Donna's face became somber, "I hope so. I know how he can be, Tara. I don't want to see you get hurt."

Tara held back a retort, knowing that Donna was just trying to be a friend. But she didn't need someone telling her to be careful. She's a big girl, and there's a lot of things that Tara can handle. An overly horny teenage boy is one of them. She nodded anyway, "thanks."

The bell chimed again, and both girls looked to see who was coming in. Jax and Opie strode through the door, their loud laughter erupting through the diner. Tara couldn't hide back the small smile that crossed her face when she saw Jax. "Hey Tara," Opie greeted, sitting down next to Donna.

Jax walked around the counter, passing by her and she felt his hand snake across her back, just above her waistline, before he plopped himself up on top of the counter. "Hey Knowles."

"Hi guys. It's good to know that you seem to know what the word 'closed' means. I was afraid people would take it as a time when the diner isn't serving food and doesn't allow customers in."

Opie laughed, "well we are C average students, Tara. We're practically geniuses."

Tara rolled her eyes, "so Donna tells me she's been trying to keep you guys out of trouble. Dare I ask?"

Jax chuckled, "probably best not to. Don't want you to become a potential accomplice."

Donna scoffed, "oh, and where was that worry when you guys tricked me into being your getaway driver? Clearly, you don't care if I become your cellmate."

Tara laughed, "how exactly did they trick you?"

"They called, telling me that they ran over some broken glass that was in the road and needed the truck to take the bikes to Teller-Morrow." She glared at the two boys as they started cackling, "so I pull up, see them sprinting towards me, no bikes in sight, jump in the bed of the truck yelling for me to hit the gas." She swatted Opie who had practically doubled over in laughter, "apparently they thought it would be hilarious to tie firecrackers to windup motorcycles and leave them on the front porch of Chief Hale's house, ring the doorbell and set them off just as he opened the door."

Tara looked at Jax in disbelief, "you did not!" His only response was laughter, "I can't believe you guys did that!"

"You know, we might get into serious trouble for it, but it was totally worth it when we saw Hale's face when those things went off."

Donna smacked him again, "what is it with you and blowing things up. Seriously Ope, you have a problem."

"Yeah Ope, you really do have a problem," Jax mocked, his voice high mimicking his friend, then jumping down from the counter when she made a move to hit him as well. He landed just a couple inches away from Tara, who had started wiping off the counter. "So, are you about done here?"

"That depends," she answered, continuing to wipe the counter, making an effort not to look at him. "On why you're asking."

He rolled his eyes, stepping in front of her and blocking her from wiping the counter. She looked up at him, ignoring how close his broad chest was to hers, "I was just going to see if my friend," she didn't miss his distinct tone on the last word, "wanted to come have a beer at Teller-Morrow."

"Please come Tara," Donna voiced, "I need some estrogen there to keep me from growing my very own penis."

She laughed at that, meeting her eyes back to the pretty blues of Jax's. "One beer." Jax smirked, realizing he was breaking down her defenses. It had taken almost a couple of weeks, but he had finally gotten her to agree to one of his offers. He forced himself to hide his excitement when he realized that his bike was just a block down the road, and not only was she going back to Teller-Morrow with him, but she was going to ride on his bike as well. But, as if Tara had read his thoughts, her face sobered, "but I'm walking."

* * *

><p>Tara and Donna walked through the open gates of Teller-Morrow, and Tara's already shaken nerves went into overdrive when she saw what was before her. She had heard about these parties. Seen one up close that first tutoring session with Donna a few weeks ago. But now, she wasn't just a passerby who happened to be dropping someone off. No, now she was a guest. And to top it off, she was Jax Teller's guest. Tara came to the conclusion that this was either going to go bad or really bad. She didn't hope for the latter.<p>

Donna agreed to walk with Tara to the garage, as Opie and Jax had to retrieve their bikes. She hadn't missed the flash of annoyance that passed through Jax when she told him she would walk. She fears that being friends with him is a line that she is dangerously crossing, but getting on the back of his bike would catapult her over said line.

Music blasted from somewhere, as girls with leather mini-skirts and tops that looked as if they were made for bras stumbled in and out of the building that Tara still had no idea what was for. She did notice the long line of motorcycles that stood along the fence. Her eyes immediately landed on Jax's bike, and she could feel her heart start beating faster than she ever thought it could beat. She really needed that beer.

She followed Donna, who seemed to make herself right at home, as they walked into the building. Tara immediately coughed as they entered, smoke invading her nostrils and throat, and her eyes started watering. She doesn't mind smoke, but she's never been exposed to so much of it. Donna looked back at her, "you okay?"

She nodded, too busy coughing to answer. She followed her into the room, her eyes traveling over it. A pool table stood in the center, a couple guys standing by it with sticks in their hands. There was a bar, where mostly everyone stood. She saw a hallway with a motorcycle sitting on a ledge at the very end of it, and she noticed a room behind the pool table, where all she could see was a table and chairs surrounding it. She still couldn't figure out what the hell this place was for.

Opie and Jax stood by the wall near the pool table, a high table in between them with a couple of beers. Donna slide up next to Opie, as Tara made her way towards Jax. He watched her, smirking, and handed her a fresh beer. "What'd you think?"

Tara popped open her beer, brows furrowing in confusion as she looked around. "What is this place for? What are all these people doing here at a garage that's closed?"

Jax laughed, "it's our clubhouse for SAMCRO" He noticed her eyes travel down to his kutte, "this is where we meet, where we handle business, and sometimes it's even where we sleep."

She nodded, understanding a little better now. Her eyes roamed around again, traveling to every man who was wearing a kutte that resembled the one that Jax and Opie seem to always wear. There are two guys by the bar, surrounded by women, one with bushy hair and a matching beard, and another with slick black hair and even from afar, Tara could see the two scars on his face. She noticed another member, sitting on the lone couch across the room from her, three women all trying to stick their tongues down his throat.

An older man caught her attention, as he strode in, and Tara immediately knew who he was. He ambled over to the young teens, kissing Donna on top of her head and giving Opie a loving squeeze on his shoulder. "Keeping out of trouble?" his deep, tired voice asked.

"We're perfect little angels, Piney," Jax answered, his tone teasing.

He rolled his old eyes, and then landed on the brunette standing next to him. He walked up next to her, "and who is this young lady?"

She held out her petite hand, shaking his cold and rough one, "Tara Knowles."

Recognition flashed through his eyes, "Robert's daughter?" She nodded hesitantly, hoping he wouldn't bring up anything about her father in front of people she had barely just started gettingt to know. "Tell him Piney Winston says hello."

She smiled, relieved, "I will."

He looked up at Jax, giving him a warning look. Jax frowned, confused at Piney's action. It went unknown to everyone else, and Jax knew it had something to do with Tara. They all watched as Opie's father retreated, heading to the bar. Jax rolled his eyes, _crazy old man. _He placed his hand on Tara's hip, "you up for a game of pool?"

* * *

><p>She was on her second beer now, and she had promised herself that after this she was done. She thought she had seen the craziness of crazy in her years of partying, but none of them held a candle to a SAMCRO party. Tara didn't think she would be able to keep up any longer. She watched Opie hit a shot, the red striped-ball sinking into the hole. Jax had beaten her, but she held up pretty well against him. She's always been pretty good at pool, learning from her uncle who was a pool shark back in his college days. Jax was impressed with her skill, beating her just with one solid ball left for her.<p>

He looked down at her, his arm resting behind her and holding onto the table that was next to them. He liked being close to her, and Tara hadn't made any suggestion that she didn't like it either. They had been talking for about an hour, drinking their beer and watching Opie and Donna play a couple rounds of pool. Donna wasn't very good, but she enjoyed playing.

Jax would tease his friend occasionally, which would earn him a rather hard poke of her stick in the direction of his groin. Tara couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so much. Opie and Jax had this amazing relationship, joking and making fun of one another, sometimes of Donna and they had even taken a couple shots at her. But she didn't mind. She liked feeling apart of their group, their friendship. They referenced a lot things that she had no clue about, but they took time to explain and retell her the story, making her feel welcome and in the know. However, as much as she liked talking to all of them, she couldn't keep her heart from lurching every time Jax would lean down and whisper into her ear. Sometimes he would joke, but sometimes he would ask her a question.

Opie sunk the eight-ball, smiling his boyish face at his girlfriend, "sorry."

Donna sighed, tossing the stick onto the felt green top of the table. "One of these days, I'm going to beat you."

Jax laughed, "yeah, and I'm gonna be president."

Opie hid his smile, wrapping his arms around her waist. "In other words, never gonna happen."

She rolled her eyes, "you guys suck." She turned her attention to Tara, "I wouldn't be against you tutoring me in the art of billiards."

Tara smiled, moving away from the wall and Jax, "maybe some other time. I should be heading out though."

Jax quickly stepped next to her, "need a ride?"

She shook her head, smiling, "thanks, but my cars at the diner. I'm just gonna walk." She took a breath, not sure if what she was about to ask was the smartest idea but she was going to do it anyway, "I could use the company though."

He smirked, nodding. The two said goodbye to their friends, and then made their way through the clubhouse and outside. Tara breathed in the fresh air. She noticed the less amount of women parading around, but she figured they had made their way inside and into the rooms that Jax had mentioned the members have inside.

The night was cool, crisp enough to sober Tara up. They walked out of the Teller-Morrow lot, and she felt herself relax, surprised at how tense she actually was when she was inside Jax's territory. She wasn't completely at ease though, that of course is due to the presence of the blonde who had made it a habit of making her on edge.

"So, you're a prospect?" she asked, breaking the night silence. "What exactly does that mean?"

"It means that I'm not a member yet. In order for me to become one, I have to prospect for however many years the club wants, until they think I'm ready to be patched in."

She bit her lip, processing this. "And how long have you been a prospect?"

They rounded the corner, now on the main strip of town, the street where most businesses were located, including the diner. "I've been prospecting for about a year now. Me and Ope are sort of special cases, since we're sons of the founders of the club. It's pretty much given that we'll be patched in, and the club wants to do it as soon as they think we're ready. That might be as soon as tomorrow, or might be as late as five years from now."

Her brows raised, "you could prospect for five years? That's kind of a lot."

He shrugged, "it usually never lasts that long. Maybe three years tops. It just depends on when he club thinks your ready or if they even need another patched member. Opie and I only started prospecting so young because…" his voice trailed off, his eyes turning to the ground beneath his feet.

"Because of your dad?" she finished, quietly. She heard about it. Who didn't when it seemed like thousands of motorbikes had invaded the small town of Charming for John Teller's funeral.

He nodded, "yeah. Because of his position in the club, and the shift it had caused, the club was pretty adamant on me and Ope joining."

She shoved her hands into her back pockets, "I'm sorry about your dad."

He looked at her, meeting her hazel eyes. He had heard that from so many people over the past year, he had to resist the urge to tell them to shut the hell up. Their 'sorries' wouldn't bring his old man back. But staring into her eyes, he didn't have that urge. She understood. She understood how shitty it was to lose a parent. He knew she had lost her mother when she was younger, losing the battle with cancer. But he realized that he had it pretty lucky compared to her. He had fifteen years with his father. She only had a few with her mother. Talk about unfair.

The two remained silent after that as they came upon the diner, Tara's truck coming into view. They passed the diner, Tara not having to do anything seeing as how she had closed everything up before she left, and Jax escorted her to the driver side. He opened the door for her when he heard the click of her lock. She smiled at him, "thanks for walking me."

He smiled back at her, "maybe next time, we won't walk."

She laughed, "yeah, maybe." He could tell she was just teasing, but he couldn't help but let the idea enthuse him. "I'll see you later, Jax."

He placed a hand on her waist, leaning down and pressing his lips to her cheek. Tara froze, her whole body reacting to the feel of his soft lips and stubbly chin against her smooth skin. She hadn't expected that, and she held her breath as he moved away from her, his smirk plastered on his face. "Goodnight Tara."

She swallowed, her dry throat welcoming the moistness. She remained still as he moved past her, heading back towards the garage. "Night," she whispered, knowing that there was no way he could of heard that.

She wasn't sure how much more of this so called friendship was going to last. If Jax keeps making her go weak in the knees, there was no saying what she would do. But she knows that her and Jax aren't going to be able to remain just friends. Someone's going to give, and Tara knows exactly who that is going to be.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Thanks for the reviews last chapter everyone! As always, it's much appreciated. This was a fun chapter to write. Another relationship that is definitely going to be explored is the Piney/Tara one. I adored them on the show, even with the minimum amount of scenes we did get with them. To me, Piney took real good care of Tara when she was in high school and they will definitely have a relationship in this story!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Reviews are like Snickers for me!


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